“Only I didn't say 'Fudge.' I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the 'F-dash-dash-dash' word!”

Back by unpopular demand, and a suspious $100k check slipped to me before the tour by I dunno maybe Jess Clapier (HTdD leaders can be bribed), we present the ""Accelerate to Elevate"" route, finishing atop the dreaded Alpe du Zwift.

We know you wanted a Red Ryder carbine-action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle. Instead, we got you this brutal 3,000ft climb. It’s a pink nightmare of elevation that will leave you feeling like you can't put your arms down.

THE TRIPLE DOG DARE: Don't ""shoot your eye out"" (blow your legs up) on the flat lead-in. You'll need every ounce of strength to avoid getting shoved down the metaphorical slide by Santa at the summit.

FINISH THE TOUR!