Righto, ya pack of legends! Time to saddle up for the DIRT Welcome to the Outback Ride—a C-grade roll that’ll sit between 2.5 and 3.2 W/kg. It’s a no-drop, good vibes only ride, so don’t go tearing off like a blue-arse fly, or you’ll be riding solo quicker than a backpacker who’s just met a drop bear.

We’ll be as fast as a mob of roos, but don’t stress—we’re here for a solid spin, not to go full gas like a bogan in a V8. Stick with the bunch, spin the legs, and enjoy the ride. If you get caught at the back, don’t panic—we’ll pull ya back in like a snag on a barbie.

This isn’t a race, so save the “I reckon I can hold 5 W/kg for an hour” for another day, champ. We’re here to ride, yarn, and maybe even throw in a “that’s not a ride… THIS is a ride” for good measure.

So slap on ya best Zwift kit (or if you’re feeling brave, your finest budgie smugglers), fill up ya bidons, and let’s get flat out like a lizard drinking. See ya on the start line, ya flamin’ legends!